Weddings are always fun!

My last day on my project was amazing and a great way to cap off my time here.  Instead of going to our regularly scheduled afternoon projects, we were invited to a Zulu wedding.  It wasn’t actually the wedding, it was the pre-wedding celebrations.  The wedding was held Saturday at the groom’s town which was 100km away.  This was basically a celebration for the bride’s family, sort of a bridal shower it seemed.

All of us women had to wear skirts below our knees because that is proper in the Zulu culture.  It was very fascinating when we arrived.  There were lots of people everywhere and they had a huge tent set up with a sound system and everything.  We went into the tent where there were chairs set up all around and a table at the front with a buffet of food.  There was a group of ladies that are part of a club or society that the bride’s mother belongs to.  They were all wearing red skirts and hats with matching t-shirts with the group’s logo and their individual nicknames on them.

We were asked if we wanted to see the bride so we were escorted into the house where her and some aunts and cousins were sitting.  The room was piled high with gifts from friends and family, mostly blankets and handmade grass mats.  We were invited to sit down and soon we they brought in some special meat for us.  The groom pays a Lobola (dowery) in cows, the going rate being 11.  The bride’s family slaughters one of the cows for their celebration and the bride and mother of the bride are the first ones to take a bite.  They brought in a special plate of meat just for us that was passed around.  The meat was delicious and I don’t think I’ve ever eaten meat that fresh.  It was explained that I was the only married one and so they asked what my wedding was like.  As we left the house we saw the cow hide stretched out drying in the sun and the head off to the side.

We went back into the tent to a bit of a surprise.  They had dished out all the food onto plates that were sitting on the chairs ready for people, except the head table had been set for us!!  We got quite the special treatment that none of us expected.  It was just like any gatherings or celebrations back home, lots of food, women busy bustling around preparing everything and the men outside drinking beer and cooking the meat.  The food was great, potato salad, red cabbage coleslaw, beetroot, rice and beef.  We had all just eaten lunch before we came so weren’t hungry but didn’t want to be rude so we stuffed it down.  Then we all had a laugh as they brought around takeaway containers that you’d get at a restaurant for people to put any extra food into to take home.

Then the ladies group got up and started to sing and dance and other ladies were joining in.  They took turns speaking with the microphone which had terrible sound.  There was almost a DJ that played an electric piano as well which also had terrible sound.  It was blaring and loud and so not needed which made us all chuckle.  Then the bride and her family came in and more speeches and songs and dancing followed.  The ladies from the group appeared to be a religious group and they did a lot of praying and preaching.  Then they all presented her with gifts and cash as they sang and danced.  The bride’s mom got up and spoke and then the bride spoke as well.  It was very emotional because once she is married, she will never come back to her family, unless it is to visit.  So it was a celebration and a goodbye.  The men in her family were crying as she spoke.

We had to leave at 4 and as we got up to leave, our Zulu coordinator with us motioned for me to come up to the front.  Turned out that they wanted one of us to say something (which is very Zulu) and since I was the only married one, it was appropriate for me to speak (also very Zulu).  All eyes were on me and I was very nervous.  Although I was put on the spot, I think I did a pretty good job.  I just thanked them for inviting us and allowing us to be a part of the celebration.  I said that I had been married for 1 year so I wished the bride all the best in her new life and wished her many years of health and happiness and thanked her for letting us share her special day with her.

As we were getting into the cars, one of the ladies that was really getting into the singing and dancing came up to us and said that she loved us all and that she’d like to have her photo taken with us so she can show her daughter. So we had a group photo with her, as well as one with the bride and her mother which is great because our wedding gift to her was a picture frame.

It was overall a really amazing experience.  I found myself getting a little emotional, realizing what a special privilege it was for us to be a part of that celebration and just how special and welcome they made us all feel.  It was so neat to see a part of their wedding celebrations; especially because it’s been only a year since we celebrated our marriage.  I feel very blessed to have had that experience and it was just one more moment that made me fall in love with a beautiful people and their culture.

10 families, Gardening and After School Club

Mornings here are always the same, the community guys head off to spend the morning at a crèche with the children and the medical group go to home based care or support group.  But in the afternoons, we get to mix up the groups and split our time between 10 Families, Afterschool club, Adult HIV, gardening, and refurbish (building a new crèche building).  I got to do 3 of the 5 activities during my stay.

In 2009 the Induna of Ezwenelisha (the leader of the town) and African Impact chose 10 families that were struggling to care for themselves and their loved ones as a result of the impact of HIV/AIDS.  So over the past 2 years, our group has carried out plans to aid and empower these families by providing them with knowledge and skills that will help to improve their health, education and employment opportunities.  We regularly visit each family and keep records of how they are doing.  During my time here I was on the 10 Families project twice.  The first time we made a few quick stops on our way to the one of the 10 families (a very African thing to change plans and fly by the seat of your pants) to check on a few people.  First we stopped off to check on an orphan boy living with another family who was badly burned and to bring him a mattress because he has been sleeping on the concrete.  It was great to see how happy he was to receive it.  Then we went to check on Gogo Joyce (Gogo means grandmother).  Turned out her granddaughter was very ill had hadn’t ate in almost a week and since they didn’t have the means to get to the clinic, we loaded her, her baby and the Gogo up with us and took her to the clinic.  We played with the baby while the she got checked. Fortunately at this stage her tests showed she was HIV negative, but she has to go back in 3 months to check again because it can take up to 3 months for the HIV antibodies to show up in blood tests. They gave her some pills to hopefully make her feel better.  After we were done there we ran out of time to do what was originally planned.  The only explanation for times like that is “TIA”: This Is Africa.

So the next time for the 10 Families project we did our original plan from the first day; to go visit 3 boys who are living with their Gogo on their father’s side.  Their father has died and the mother got into alcohol and was neglecting the boys and yelling at them when she was drunk.  But the Gogo does not have enough money to support them so they are waiting for the Gogo on the mother’s side to come and take the boys.  So we have been taking them some food parcels and this day we went specifically just to play and spend time with the boys.  They range in age from 3 to 9 and definitely don’t seem happy.  Although not too sure if they’d like it, we decided to just color with them.  Coloring is not something kids do here much and they loved it!  Even their older cousins got into it as well.  At one point we asked if they wanted to go outside and play and they said no!  Eventually we did head outside for some soccer and Frisbee tossing.  It was great to just spend some time with them and show them we cared.

One afternoon I was on the garden project which is basically just a garden that we manage on some land that was given to us to use by the Induna.  We are currently growing carrots, beetroot, onions, beans, cabbage, spinach and mielies (corn) that will all used in the home based care food parcels, support group and the 10 Families.  The day I went we just had to weed and water the garden which seemed like a regular summer day back home.  One of the girls thought it was a really physically demanding job which struck me a bit funny.  We had to chase a chicken out of the garden first and a group of kids walking home from school came to help as well.  It looked great when we were all done.

Mondays and Thursdays we go to the Monzi Primary school for after school club which is for orphan children.  9 of them live at housing near the school because they have no one and the rest are children who don’t have parents but still live with family members.  After school club gives them a place to go for some fun after school and some food to eat.  When we first arrive we dish out the food to the children.  Then we get to play for the next 1 – 1 ½ hours.  The first 2 classes I helped the kids out with computers.  The school was donated 12 computers and no one knows how to use them.  So I fuddled my way through my first impromptu computer class for a group of 14 kids who have never seen a computer before and only 7 working computers.  It was interesting but actually went well.  I was able to plan a bit for the next one and we’ve now laid out a serious of classes for the next few weeks.  They are all really eager to learn and it is quite comical watching them try to work the mouse for the first time.  Then we went out and joined the rest playing.

My second 2 times at Afterschool club I got to just play with the kids.  We played Red Rover (which got dangerous), Octopus which is a type of tag, and I taught them a new game called Over Under, Round and Round which they really liked.  Then we usually get to watch and maybe even partake in Zulu singing and dancing.  My last day was my favorite by far!!  Because it was raining we had club inside.  We started off by coloring and braiding with plastic string; or gimp as we used to call it as kids.  I was really proud of myself for being able to remember how to braid it like we used to.  I taught Tembe, the lady that runs the Afterschool Club, how to do it and she got really good at it so I was happy to be able to leave that behind.  Then we played a few games of Simon Says which was great fun.  Then the kids wanted to do Zulu dancing.  I requested a certain song which I’ve heard many times during my stay and is my favorite.  It was beautiful, it brought a tear to my thinking about it being the last time I’ll hear it in person.  Then they did some wedding songs which we got up and danced to with them.  The last song they sang, they sang some words in English which were ‘Remember Me’.  Well, that did it…the water works started for me.  The realization that my trip was ending and I wouldn’t be around these wonderful people anymore hit me and made me very emotional.  As we were saying our goodbyes my tears were streaming and the children weren’t sure what was wrong with me.  The one bright, caring girl in the group realized and she gave me a big hug, as did Tembe.  She hugged me and told me she would miss me and told me to come back.  I wanted to be able to tell them that I would, but it broke my heart knowing the truth.  That if I am blessed enough to come back, it may not be for many years.

Banana or wood

Well I got to jump right into the second main part of my purpose on this project, HIV education.  I actually wasn’t scheduled to do it but the girl who was is from Sweden and she wasn’t confident enough with her English so asked if she could be removed.  So I was sort of thrown into it last minute which was a bit nerve wracking.  I know the basics about HIV, but I certainly don’t know the details of it all.  Luckily there is a course outline and each lesson is basically laid out.  Our HIV Education course is mandatory for the Grade 7’s at the Monzi Primary school and they must pass our test in order to pass their grade.  So every 2 weeks we get a group of 10 to 15 kids (age ranging from 12 to 14) to teach them everything about HIV over 6 classes.

We were pretty nervous when we first walked into class.  Turns out we had all boys which actually made it easier because there wasn’t the boy/girl tension that usually unfolds during a sex ed type class.  The boys all seemed pretty interested and eager to learn.  I was surprised at how easy I found it to talk point blank about sex and being safe.  The part that was weird was explaining about anal sex and oral sex, as this are important things to know about the transmission of HIV….but I think this was some new information for some of the boys.

At the end of each class we give them a piece of paper so they can write down any questions they might have to put in the secret question box so they can ask questions they might be embarrassed to ask out loud.  There have been some interesting ones, mainly because their English is a little rough so we have to try to make out what they are asking.  But there have been some very bright questions that we’ve had to search for answers for.

One the third day we got to teach them how to put a condom on.  Again, I think we were lucky to have a class of all boys.  Boys being boys though, they all had a good giggle when I pulled out the banana for the demonstration.  But they all got serious and were eager to learn as we had each of them put a condom on twice for practice.  It’s funny, because as we were teaching the boys everything to know about HIV and hoping they retain it all so they ace their test, I realized my hope for them was for so much more.  I didn’t want them to pass just our test; I want them to pass the test of life.  I want them to make smart choices, stay safe, be healthy and live long happy lives.

The 5^th class we just reviewed everything they had learned and drilled in all the important information for them to know for their test and for their life.  So we decided to review the steps of putting on a condom.  Last week our Zulu community coordinator got a local carpenter to make us a wooden penis to be used in our school and adult HIV courses.  This has provided us with many giggles!  The man who made it was very cool and serious when he was exactly we wanted in our wooden penis.  We all hooped and hollered and laughed the day we went to pick it up.  He did a great job.  So for our condom review day with the boys I took the wooden penis instead of the banana and the boys loved it.  They all whooped and hollered and laughed and a few of them even needed to touch it.  It was a big hit!!!

Today was the day the boys took their test.  7 of the 10 boys passed which is great.  The ones that didn’t pass seemed to know their stuff in class, but I think they got confused in the English translation of the test which is too bad.  We are still very proud of our boys and how they did.  Before the exam we asked them if we could get a photo with them.  They were all happy to and immediately started tucking in their shirts and fixing their collars, it was so cute.  They loved looking at themselves on the camera afterwards.

Like many great experiences in life, teaching the HIV to the primary school students was something that I was really not looking forward to; I was nervous about the subject as well as the Zulu/English language difficulties.  Now that it is over, I am so happy that I went through it.  It was a very rewarding experience and I only wish I could keep track of each and every one of the boys to find out if they make smart choices in their life and stay happy and healthy.  I am so pleased to have been a tiny part of their lives during my stay.

Snot, Songs and Simplicity

I’ve had a great week on the community and HIV education project here in St. Lucia.  The accommodations are great.  There is actually water in the pool although it’s pretty chilly so I’m waiting for a hot day to be brave enough to get in.  Everyone is very nice, welcoming and great to work with.  And I’m anxious to see my first hippo in town at night (hopefully from a safe distance or from a vehicle as they can be very dangerous).

We spend each morning in a crèche which is basically a day care/preschool for kids whose parents work or kids that stay don’t have parents and stay with family members who work.  There are several crèches that our group visits regularly and have made lots of improvements for the kids and have taught them a lot of great new things with the goal of making their move into primary school an easier one.  Our project is currently looking into new crèches, accessing their needs and deciding which ones are needing African Impact’s regular time and support the most in the new year. 

This week’s new crèche is a home crèche.  So basically it is a Gogo (Zulu word for Grandmother) that has opened her home to looking after kids.  She hasn’t had any help in setting it up and doesn’t have any government funding.  She does have some help with the kids each day, but not much.  There are a lot of kids with a big age range so it is a lot for 1 lady.  The first day was a bit chaotic as the kids had never had any structure in their day before, just random playing.  The kids ranged in age from a few months to about 4 years old.  They didn’t have any chairs, no table or place to set the food, and only 1 bed which wasn’t big enough for all the babies so many of them just slept on the floor.  The kids don’t have many toys and they had no literature or anything for learning.  So the first day was pretty much just a free for all with singing some songs and playing with the kids.

The first little bit the kids just starred at us in awe and weren’t sure what to make of us whites (as the one kid called us) singing and dancing in front of them.  But after a while they warmed up and enjoyed interacting and cuddling with us.  One boy we feel as some level of autism and ends up disrupting most of the other kids.  One boy is severely over weight and can hardly walk.  They don’t have a bathroom (outhouse in these parts) so the kids just pee right outside the building.  But all of the kids are sweet, fun children who loved our individual time and attention….and toys.

We realized the need for a few things so we got them some chairs for the kids and a table for the food and to prepare bottles on.  We are also working on getting another bed for them.  Our first night after being at their crèche we made up the alphabet to be posted up on their walls and continue to sing the alphabet to them to help them learn English.  We’ve also taught them a few fun kids sing along songs that they are all quickly picking up on and enjoy singing.  We take little plastic bikes for them, or as they call them, toot-toots.  So a kid will come up to you chatting away in Zulu and you have no idea what they are talking about until you hear the word toot-toot, then you understand completely.

Many of the babies have beads around their waste which in their culture is believed to keep the babies safe .  Some of them have beads or a key on a string around their neck which is believed to help with teething. 

As we left on Thursday, knowing that we may or may not be back, the Gogo was very thankful for the time we had spent and the things we had done.  She gave us all big hugs and kisses to show her gratitude.  Although it is a lot of work, you can tell she loves and cares for those kids so it was great to get to help her out, even just a little bit.  The children were also sad to see us go.  I will be interested to find out if this becomes a regular crèche for African Impact to spend time with in the future.

Friday we went to one of the crèches that our group has been going to regularly and I was so impressed with the kids and the teacher and the whole set up.  African Impact and the teacher have worked well together.  The kids are all about 3 -5 years old and know all their alphabet, numbers, colors, days of the week and months of the year in English.  They love learning and interacting and singing along to all the fun songs.  It is all set up so well, other than the fact that it is still in a stick and mud shack.  So African Impact is working on building them a new building.

It was really great to get to see the difference that our group can make to a crèche over time.  From rundown buildings with no furniture, toys or literature and chaotic kids to an organized, scheduled, fun learning environment.  It really put into perspective and showed a clear image of what African Impact is doing.  Which makes me confident that when they are doing and what I am a part of is really amazing and helping in such a big way.

photos posted

Just a quick post to let you know I finally uploaded a few pics to go with previous blogs

Goodbye Thanda

As my time here at Thanda draws to a close, I have very mixed emotions.  I guess it could be described as bitter sweet.  I AM ready to be somewhere that doesn’t have gecko poop everywhere.  I AM ready to be somewhere that has a guaranteed water supply for showers and toilet flushing.  I AM read to be somewhere that I get out and walk and not be concerned about being eaten by a lion.

However, I am not ready to go back to the real world.  There is such serenity to being out in the wild elements, being a part of nature and getting to observe the animals on a daily basis.  The thought of going back to the fast paced world of people, vehicles, noise and distraction saddens me.  I think this trip has reminded me that as with anywhere I am in the world, I think I’d rather take my chances with the wild animals then the people.

The moments spent observing, watching, and hearing the animals, especially up at close range will be my most favorite memories.  It is exhilarating and amazing to be in the presence of these creatures.  Creatures that in one moment almost make you believe that they are tame pets as they walk within a few feet of the vehicle, look you in the eye, then carry on with their day.  Making you feel safe and secure in our open top jeep in the middle of a Big 5 Game Reserve.  Yet in the next moment, they make a precarious move that keeps you on your toes, and makes you hold your breath with fear and excitement.  And you are once again reminded that these are in fact wild, dangerous animals.  Whether it’s hearing the flesh of a warthog being torn by a lion’s jaws, a elephant being a little too cheeky and touching the jeep with its tusks and trunk, or the lions on the edge of our camp growling and lunging at a not too worried (and in my mind not too smart) photographer trying the ultimate up close shot, or being woken up by lions roaring just a few hundred feet away from my hut.  And it’s not only the big or the dangerous ones that have stolen my heart.  I don’t think I will ever tire of watching an elegant giraffe as they walk along, never seeming to be in too big of a hurry.  I will always get excited to see a heard of impala, because as skidish as they are, you have to observe their beauty in a hurry as they are always quick to duck behind the bushes.  The way the muddy warthog trots along with his tail in the air will always make me think of Pumba from The Lion King.

My time spent in the community and with the local Zulu’s was amazing and the memories I made are very dear to me.  They are a wonderful culture of happy, spirited, joyful people and you can’t help but take that happy, joyful energy with you as you leave their company.  Their happiness and laughing is infectious and I love that any happy occasion is an occasion for singing and dancing.  I would love if this was common place back home.  We had some visitors today – let’s dance!!  We built a fence today – let’s dance!!  Although, I do have to say I still have some work to do on perfecting my Zulu dancing.  But I have some videos to take home with me to practice.  I think I will keep my eyes peeled for some tradition Zulu music that I could buy.  I have a special place in my heart for the Shosholoza song I’ve heard several times which I’m told is about movement.  Everyone seems to have a beautiful voice and is happy to share it with their friends and family and visitors.  Something I’ve always aspired for.  It’s a beautiful sight and sound to see a group of kids all singing and dancing in unison, and then that one standout sweet voice leading them all.

Full Circle Moment

Today I had a bit of a full circle moment and it brought tears to my eyes.  My purpose for coming to Africa was to simply see the land and explore its animals and people.  It’s something I always wanted to do.  However, over time, I’ve had a growing sense of wanting to give; to help.  I try to donate to different causes, especially those that are near and dear to my friends and family.  However I wanted to be able to help on a personal level.  My goal when I came to Africa was to feel like I made the difference in the life of at least one person.  Although it wasn’t JUST me, I did play a role in doing just that.

Because of the gracious donations from friends and family, I was able to give a donation of around $300 to The Happy Africa Foundation which is connected with African Impact, the group I am volunteering through.  I asked for that money to go towards the 2 projects that I will be spending my time on.  Here at Thanda, African Impact has been helping the Mdletshe School.  They have been raising money for the first of 3 phases, to build a fence around the school grounds so they can move forward in applying for funding from the government.  The funding will allow them to have access to more supplies and food for the school.  The second phase is to build 2 outhouses and then to build a 3^rd school building so the kindergarteners can get out of the shack they are currently in.

Well there is no way of knowing for sure, but shortly after my arrival and the donation made, they had enough money that they could go forward with building the fence.  I truly feel that it was part of that donation that put the fund over the top.  It took a few days for the supplies and everything to get organized (and a few extra days for ‘South Africa time’), but it finally got all sorted out.

Yesterday we showed up at the school to start the fence building process.  There were already members from the community working and as soon as we started, many more of then joined in.  There were many hands working together towards the common goal.  We carried the poles to the holes that were already dug, we pulled up old fences, we picked garbage, we gathered rocks for filling holes and then we poured concrete and set the poles up.  Because of the time limit, we weren’t able to get all of the poles up and filled but we got 95% of them done so it felt great.

Afterwards, the community liaison that has been working with the Mdletshe School and Natasha from African Impact and Thanda Game Reserve, created a proper ceremony.  We all gathered around as Natasha said a few words and officially handed over the fence building project to the community members.  The community liaison spoke a few words in Zulu.  The principal, who we’ve met on 3 different occasions at the school spoke a few words in Zulu and then in English.  Her passion and drive for her school and the kids there are very apparent and she was very appreciative of the efforts we all put in to make this day happen.

Then the Induna which is the leader of the locals in the area and in this rare scenario, is a women, spoke as well.  I am not sure what she said but I knew it was very happy and joyous and in true Zulu form, she did a little dancing as others clapped and sung along.  I love how happy and joyful they all are.

Then, the full circle moment happened.  Not only did we get to spend time, play and work with the children who would get to take advantage of the efforts we put in for their school and get to share in their excitement, we heard from a man from the community.  He spoke for a while and as it was translated, he said because of the of what we did for his community and the school that day, he said he will no longer hunt (poach) on Thanda’s Game Reserve!!!  It was a very powerful moment that really struck home for many of us.  It felt like our efforts, my efforts were important.  They made a difference in many lives and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of it.  It fills my heart and warms my soul.  It has changed my outlook and my future involvement with local charities.  Hopefully I can continue to make a difference in at least 1 person’s life!