All of us women had to wear skirts below our knees because that is proper in the Zulu culture. It was very fascinating when we arrived. There were lots of people everywhere and they had a huge tent set up with a sound system and everything. We went into the tent where there were chairs set up all around and a table at the front with a buffet of food. There was a group of ladies that are part of a club or society that the bride’s mother belongs to. They were all wearing red skirts and hats with matching t-shirts with the group’s logo and their individual nicknames on them.
We were asked if we wanted to see the bride so we were escorted into the house where her and some aunts and cousins were sitting. The room was piled high with gifts from friends and family, mostly blankets and handmade grass mats. We were invited to sit down and soon we they brought in some special meat for us. The groom pays a Lobola (dowery) in cows, the going rate being 11. The bride’s family slaughters one of the cows for their celebration and the bride and mother of the bride are the first ones to take a bite. They brought in a special plate of meat just for us that was passed around. The meat was delicious and I don’t think I’ve ever eaten meat that fresh. It was explained that I was the only married one and so they asked what my wedding was like. As we left the house we saw the cow hide stretched out drying in the sun and the head off to the side.
We went back into the tent to a bit of a surprise. They had dished out all the food onto plates that were sitting on the chairs ready for people, except the head table had been set for us!! We got quite the special treatment that none of us expected. It was just like any gatherings or celebrations back home, lots of food, women busy bustling around preparing everything and the men outside drinking beer and cooking the meat. The food was great, potato salad, red cabbage coleslaw, beetroot, rice and beef. We had all just eaten lunch before we came so weren’t hungry but didn’t want to be rude so we stuffed it down. Then we all had a laugh as they brought around takeaway containers that you’d get at a restaurant for people to put any extra food into to take home.
Then the ladies group got up and started to sing and dance and other ladies were joining in. They took turns speaking with the microphone which had terrible sound. There was almost a DJ that played an electric piano as well which also had terrible sound. It was blaring and loud and so not needed which made us all chuckle. Then the bride and her family came in and more speeches and songs and dancing followed. The ladies from the group appeared to be a religious group and they did a lot of praying and preaching. Then they all presented her with gifts and cash as they sang and danced. The bride’s mom got up and spoke and then the bride spoke as well. It was very emotional because once she is married, she will never come back to her family, unless it is to visit. So it was a celebration and a goodbye. The men in her family were crying as she spoke.We had to leave at 4 and as we got up to leave, our Zulu coordinator with us motioned for me to come up to the front. Turned out that they wanted one of us to say something (which is very Zulu) and since I was the only married one, it was appropriate for me to speak (also very Zulu). All eyes were on me and I was very nervous. Although I was put on the spot, I think I did a pretty good job. I just thanked them for inviting us and allowing us to be a part of the celebration. I said that I had been married for 1 year so I wished the bride all the best in her new life and wished her many years of health and happiness and thanked her for letting us share her special day with her.
As we were getting into the cars, one of the ladies that was really getting into the singing and dancing came up to us and said that she loved us all and that she’d like to have her photo taken with us so she can show her daughter. So we had a group photo with her, as well as one with the bride and her mother which is great because our wedding gift to her was a picture frame.
It was overall a really amazing experience. I found myself getting a little emotional, realizing what a special privilege it was for us to be a part of that celebration and just how special and welcome they made us all feel. It was so neat to see a part of their wedding celebrations; especially because it’s been only a year since we celebrated our marriage. I feel very blessed to have had that experience and it was just one more moment that made me fall in love with a beautiful people and their culture.
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